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How Smart Are You?

Mitch Hedberg Quotes
The Questions Game
How Smart Are You?

Try these wonderful brain teasers to find out!

  1. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

    Correct answer: Open the fridge, put the giraffe inside, close the fridge. This question checks if you tend to make simple things complicated.

  2. How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

    Wrong answer: Open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
    Correct answer: Open the fridge, remove the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the fridge. This question checks your ability to consider implications from your previous actions.

  3. The Lion King organized a moot for the animals: all the animals are present but one. Which one?

    Correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the fridge. This checks your memory.
    Even though you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you will answer the next one for sure.

  4. You have to cross a river, but it is populated by alligators. What are you going to do?

    Correct answer: You swim across the river because all the alligators are attending the moot. This question checks if you learn quickly from your mistakes.




1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer:  "bread."  If you said "toast,"  then give up now and go do something
else.  Try not to hurt yourself.  If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times.   Now spell "silk."  What do cows drink?

Answer:  Cows drink water.  If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next
question.  Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.  It may
be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate,
such as Ladybug or Highlights. If you said "water,"  proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue
bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made
from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer:   Greenhouses are made from glass.  If you said, "green bricks," what
the devil are you still doing reading these questions????? If you said "glass,"
then go on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you
recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East
Germany.  Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot,
realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash
landing procedure.  Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to
attempt an emergency landing, and the plane  crashes smack in the middle of "no
man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.

Where would you bury the survivors? . . . in  East Germany or West Germany or in
"no man's land"?

Answer:  You don't, of course, bury survivors.  If you said ANYTHING else, you
are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. 
Your efforts would not be appreciatedIf you said, "Don't bury the survivors,"
proceed to Question 5.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many
degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer:  One degree! .  If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one
degree,"  you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are
obviously out of your league.  Turn in your pencil, and exit the room. Everyone
else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford
Haven in Wales.  In London, 17 people get on the bus.  In Reading, six people
get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and
four get on.  In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.  In Swansea,
three people get off and five people get on.  In Carmathen, six people get off
and three get on.  You then arrive at Milford Haven.

What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer:  Oh, for crying out loud!  Don't you remember? It was YOU!!
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them
instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. Here we go...

1. You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What
position are you in?

Answer: if you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If
you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

2. if you overtake the last person than you are...?

answer: if you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again.
Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!?!

You are not very good at this are you?

3. Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.  Do not use
paper and pencil or even a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.   Now add another 1000.   Now add 30.  Add another
1000.  Now add 20.   Now add another 1000.  Now  add 10.   What is the total?

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!

Today is definitely not your day....Maybe you will get the last question right..

4. Mary's father has five daughters:
    1. Nana    2. Nene   3. Nini   4. Nono
    What is the name of his fifth daughter?

answer: Nunu?  NO!   OF COURSE NOT!!!

Her name is Mary. Read the question again.

**Okay, now for the bonus round:

There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of
brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the
purchase is done.

Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should
he express himself?

answer: He just has to open his mouth and ask - how simple!

This is based on U.S. & CDN info, so use all lobes of your brain. This can be
more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see!

There are 27 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our
lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than
you think--  it just shows you how little we pay attention to the commonplace
things of life. Put your thinking caps on.  No cheating! No looking around! No
getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer!
Can you beat 20?? (The average person gets 7 right)

Write down your answers and then check your answers (on the bottom) only AFTER
completing all the questions.

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?
7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise? (In North
11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?
14. Which way do fans rotate?
15. What is on the back of a Canadian dime?
16. How many sides does a stop sign have?
17. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
18. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
19. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
20. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy,Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
21. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
22. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
23. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening
between the slats?
24. On the back of a Canadian $1 coin, what is in the centre?
25. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
26. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
27. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?
1. Bottom
2. 50
3. Right
4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black, &gold
5. 1, 0
6. Right
7. 20
8. Red
9. 88
10. Clockwise (north of the equator)
11. Towards bottom right
12. 12 (no #1)
13. Left
14. Clockwise as you look at it
15. The Bluenose
16. 8
17. Left
18. 5
19. 6
20. Bashful
21. 8
22. Ace of spades
23. Left
24. Loon
25. *, #
26. 3
27. Counter