How do you compliment a donkey?
''Hey, nice ass!''
Deep Thoughts:
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it very well on my own.
Cause happiness WHERE-EVER you go, not WHEN-EVER you go.
Time is the most valuable gift you can give, because it is the only
thing in the world you have a limited supply of.
I do not eat like a pig;
I suffer from reverse bulimia!
God
grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to
tell the difference.
Some days you’re
the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
Why is it called
the tourist season if we can’t hunt them?
Did you know that
half of all people are below average?
Good friends are the true treasures of
life.
